We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Randomize
