Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
