I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Randomize
