I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
