I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
