is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
