Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Randomize
