I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
