dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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