finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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