I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
