Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
