My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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