it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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