Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Randomize
