if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
You should frame my arrest warrant.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
