i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
