Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
