Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I'm too high and old for this...
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
