but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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