Betty ford says i'm here all night
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
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