So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Randomize
