No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
