i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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