I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Randomize
