Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
So squirting runs in the family.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
The air taste purple.
Randomize
