Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Randomize
