i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
