Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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