Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
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