I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
So much rum. So many feels.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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