i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
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