Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
