Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(818): View more from California

you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures

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(812): View more from Indiana

she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.

(1-812): View more from Indiana

thatta girl

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(843): View more from South Carolina

she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".

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(936): View more from Texas

She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.

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(336): View more from North Carolina

I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises

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(919): View more from North Carolina

Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.

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(712): View more from Iowa

when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face

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(+61): View more from Australia

He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work

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