you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
