somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
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