Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
