Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Randomize
