I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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