new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
