I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Randomize
