Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
