You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
false alarm, still single
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
