just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
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