I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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