I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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