Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
