Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
