Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
