I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
