Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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