either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
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