I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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